So, the kids are married! :) It has been an awesome year leading up to this special event, which took place on July 27th. It has been an awesome 5 years watching these two grow up and mature right before my eyes.....watching their love slowly blossom. They are honestly just so good together....good for each other! They compliment each other so well...what do they say...like peas and carrots! ;)
During the course of the planning I often got questions like these: "So, how is Mom doing?" "How are you holding up?" "Are you pulling your hair out yet?" I kept waiting for the ball to fall because after all the mother of the bride is supposed to feel STRESS right?!! I honestly never did! I just felt calm through the whole process and enjoyed it IMMENSELY!! I never felt stress during the planning of the actual wedding event. I was as cool as a cucumber the day of the event. Perhaps it is just my temperment?? Idk? The only anxiety I felt was about the weather. It was an outside wedding. I don't think I have ever watched the forecast so intently as I did the month leading up to the wedding. Ha! On the wedding day the weather was threatening to storm. I was really hoping that it would NOT! lol. But, even then...I knew it wouldn't be the end of the world if it did. They would still be married and have the wonderful memories of the day.
The wedding day was simply beautiful!! Just SOOOO nice to have all of the people you love the most in this world come together to celebrate and share the joy of such a beautiful occasion in our lives! It's the people that make a special occasion like this beautiful!
Now, where my emotions DID go wonky on me this year was with the realization of the fact that an era was ending. My first baby out of the nest so to speak. The idea that things will never EVER be the same was difficult for me to grasp at times. It was nice that this was all a very gradual process for me. The kids became engaged in Aug. of last year. I had time to prepare myself emotionally for what was going to happen. It's the goal right?! The goal is to raise your kids to spread their wings and fly! Now, I had a date. I had time to prepare. lol I am a thinker. I'm not one to jump in and do things on the spur of the moment too much. I think and then do. I think and then speak. My nature. So, this was good...I had time to prepare! ;) And, I did! I kept my mind and thoughts wide open! I was very aware that many many "lasts" were occuring and I savored them! Many of you know that James moved in with us when he turned 18. He lived with us for over a year. In Feb. of this year he moved out on his own. This was the first step. I had to get used to not having his energy around on a daily basis. It was difficult for me. I love him like one of my own! I missed him!!
It was good though. It gave Heidi and I more alone time together. Time that we wouldn't have had if James had continued to live here. Time to laugh. Time to cry. Time to reminisce. Time to enjoy mother and daughter moments. And we DID!
I had lots of sorrowful times this past year. Lots of tears as I thought about her childhood being over. I also had lots of joyous times at the new things we were experiencing and the once in a lifetime things that were happening in preparing for a wedding and joy at the thought of the new experiences we were about to embark on together. Bittersweet is acurate!
As the day drew closer I read something Heidi wrote. I don't think she knew that I read it. (she does now! ;) It said something like, "I think the only difficult part about my wedding will be seeing my mom cry" gulp. I did cry a lot the week before the wedding. Mostly silently alone at night. I cried the night before the wedding as I watched Heidi sleep peacefully in her bed.... thinking that it would be the last night Heidi would be sleeping in her bedroom....the room where she has slept since she was two. The week leading up to the wedding I prayed that I would get all of my tears out before the wedding and not get overly emotional AT the wedding. I wanted Heidi to feel complete and utter happiness on that day!! I did not want her to feel any sadness from me or for me.......I wanted her to only feel my JOY!
As it turns out God did help me get all of my tears out before the wedding. On the day of the wedding I did get misty a bit at the ceremony because of the enormity of the moment. Tears of complete and utter happiness and joy!! That was the end of the tears for the day. My heart was just oozing with happiness and joy to see the kids SO HAPPY!!! SO VERY VERY HAPPY!! :) :) It just did this Mama heart so good!! I LOVED that day! Will forever be remembered as one of my best! :)
So, now my baby girl and her man have flown the coop. They are out on their own. The good news for me....they are only 12 miles away. I still get to see them quite a bit. YES! Gradual adjustments. :) I realize that someday they may be much further.
They have now been married a little over a month. And, during that month I have had moments of sadness....moments of tears. Last night we had a bonfire and weanie roast here at the house. James and Heidi came. As we sat outside... all of us together.... I felt total and complete happiness and contentment. Any sorrow and sadness I have felt this past year is definitely becoming less frequent. The happiness and joy is taking over completely. The Bittersweet is gradually becoming just SWEET. God is good. He is so good! Two young people, whose lives are centered on Him together and happy and enjoying life. It's all a part of His plan! I am one blessed lady!!!
Love, Wendy
ps...I have not lost a daughter, I have gained a son! So happy about that Mr. Avery!! Love you!
